Strategies for Responding to Imposter Stress
/Have you ever felt self-doubt, fraudulent, or wondered if you are as competent or qualified as others perceive you to be? Believe it or not, these feelings are quite common, especially among high achieving people who have a hard time believing in their competence. These feelings and thoughts often arise when we begin something new, step into a new role, and enter environments that invalidate aspects of our identity. Below are some practical suggestions for how to respond to imposter stress:
Know your purpose. What is it that motivates you to do what you’re doing? Take a step back and consider the meaning of why you’re pursuing your goal. Write this down and revisit your meaning as often as you need to. When doubt creeps in, re-focus on your purpose and its impact.
Combat procrastination. It is often hard to start a project when we doubt our abilities or hold perfectionism as our standard. Avoiding or delaying a process can cause undue stress, anxiety, guilt, and sadness. Start with baby steps. Silence any distractions. Make a list of what you want to accomplish. Choose one item from the list and set a five-minute timer to begin the process. Tell yourself that for the next five minutes, your mind is a “no judgment zone.” Begin your work and try not to judge whether it is successful. No first draft is perfect, yet every first draft is a critical starting point. Don’t let perfection be the enemy of progress.
Acknowledge your inner critic. Our inner critics tend to get louder as we move towards something important to us (e.g., a new relationship, a new hobby, a new job, a promotion, or another change that stretches our comfort zones). We can also become self-conscious and self-critical when we feel a lack of belonging in our environment. Although the function of our inner critic is to shield us from taking risks and facing potential embarrassment, shame, and social rejection, our inner critic often undermines us and keeps us small. If your inner critic is becoming persistent, take notice and respond to it with truth and self-compassion. Here are some options:
“My value comes from being me, not from being perfect.”
“I hear you. I know you’re trying to protect me from failing, but I’m ready now. I know that I’m ready because of the opportunity before me.”
Re-orient toward your strengths. Identify what you’re good at. Which skills come naturally to you? What are the talents that you’ve developed? Consider how you can leverage your natural and cultivated skills to support yourself during this time.
Create a brag box. Find a physical or virtual location to store your accomplishments. Include photos, thank you notes, compliments, awards, lists of your milestone accomplishments and smaller victories, and anything else that inspired you and motivated you on your journey. Add to this box periodically. Did you advocate for yourself today? Add that note to the box. Did you suggest a change that had a positive impact in your environment? Record it and add it to the box. Writing down your wins (and reflective writing in general) has been linked to benefits like decreased anxiety and increased clarity, among many others. Look through this box whenever you need a reminder of what you’ve accomplished. Not only will it provide a motivating reminder of what you’ve earned and achieved, but it will also counter our common tendency to discount positive events and attribute them mainly to luck or to something that anyone else could have done.
Recite an affirmation. An affirmation is a phrase that is spoken with a positive intention. Affirmations tend to help best with self-processing and positive self-evaluations when they are accurate, authentic, consistent with our values, and grounded in the present or the future. Here are some affirmations to consider:
“May I know my value.”
“May I connect with my inherent goodness.”
“May I be free of self-imposed limitations.”
"The circumstances are what they are, yet I can choose my attitude toward them. May I approach my day with an attitude of patience."
Talk to a trusted friend or colleague. The tendency to compare ourselves to others, and to our past selves, is a universal one. When we share experiences that makes us feel vulnerable with others that we trust, we generally learn that we aren’t alone in our experiences. Imposter stress isn’t just our problem, it is a larger problem. Also, environments can contribute to our feeling like imposters or outsiders. Females and people carrying minoritized identities/experiences may be especially prone to feeling a lack of belonging due to very real experiences of inequity, discrimination, and bias; experiencing a lack of belonging can make it hard to internalize success. Talking with trusted others in our environments can help us identify organizational issues for systemic change.
If you’re experiencing imposter stress, this is a good indication that you’re growing, becoming more visible, and transitioning to the next level. You are positioned where you are for a reason, and it is to offer something that is unique to you.