A Case For Going to Therapy When You Have “Nothing” to Talk About

Have you ever found yourself rushing into your therapist's office, flustered and unprepared, only to draw a complete blank when you're finally seated? It happens to the best of us. But guess what? Those unscripted moments in therapy, when you're not sure what to talk about, can be incredibly valuable. 

It’s natural to want to prepare for your therapy session. For most doctor’s appointments, you bring your symptoms, goals, or specific issues to the table and experts provide solutions. But therapy differs in a significant way. Your therapist not only imparts knowledge and insights but creates a real time environment where you can confront your problems, conflicts, insecurities and vulnerabilities. This is where the unprepared moments shine. 

Consider a common scenario: you seek therapy to address anxiety that affects your work performance and social relationships. If you always enter therapy with a precise agenda, you might receive valuable guidance and tools, which can be very helpful.

However, if you walk into a therapy session unsure of what to say, simply stating “I’m feeling really anxious and confused right now”, you're allowing your therapist to address your anxiety in real-time. Together, you can explore your feelings, understand where they come from, identify immediate coping strategies, and practice dealing with your anxiety in the safety of the therapeutic space. 

Feeling unprepared for a therapy session can be daunting, but it’s an opportunity for authentic self-discovery and growth. Here are a few prompts to help when you find yourself with nothing to say:

• What am I noticing about myself this week? Reflect on your past week and identify any notable observations about your thoughts, behaviors, or emotions. 

• What do I want? Examine your desires and aspirations. What is it you truly want to change or achieve in your life?

• How do I feel right now? Recognizing your emotions, even the discomfort of not knowing what to say, can be a valuable starting point. 

• What’s happening in the here and now? Sharing your current state of mind and feelings about the therapy itself can lead to insights you couldn’t have prepared for, and sometimes can turn into a fruitful check-in about the therapy process itself. 

• What are my goals? Revisit the goals you initially set with your therapist, how are you doing with those? Are there any new goals?  

It’s okay not to have a clear agenda for every session; in fact, it might lead to some of the most profound breakthroughs of your therapeutic journey. At its core, therapy is a journey through unscripted vulnerability.