Can I really talk about _____ in therapy??
/In the realm of polite society, there are topics that we’re often advised to steer clear of - the kinds of conversations that make us squirm in our seats. But the truth about therapy is it’s not polite company; it’s a space designed for you to delve into every nook and cranny of your life, even those that feel awkward or uneasy to discuss. So if you’ve ever wondered, “Can I talk about __ in therapy?”, the answer is a resounding yes. This blog will go through some of the topics many find themselves hesitant to bring up. But before going into the list a worthwhile exercise may be to wonder, “why aren’t I bringing this up?” Whether the answer is taboos from childhood, societal norms, or fears of what your therapist may think, sometimes the ‘why’ is just as important as the ‘what’.
Politics
For some people, their political beliefs are a core tenant of who they are, how they interact with the world, their fears, hopes, dreams, and worries. To not bring this in might feel inauthentic and like hiding a part of yourself in a space where your therapist wants to meet the whole you. If you are concerned about talking politics because of potentially differing views from your therapist, know that most therapists are highly trained in keeping the focus on YOU and wondering how your beliefs impact and influence who you are today.
Sex and Intimacy
Discussing sex openly with a therapist may seem deeply uncomfortable at first, but the physical, emotional and mental aspects warrant exploration in a judgment-free zone. Regardless of your current sexual activity, concerns about sexuality, practices, desires, and your relationship to pornography and self-pleasure are valid and open for discussion. If these topics feel too intense to start off with, talking about the discomfort of talking about sex is a good entry point into understanding your relationship with your sexual self.
Race
Addressing race can be a complex and sensitive issue, especially in a field where therapists may not always mirror the diversity of their client. Therapy provides a space to question, learn, and navigate the impact of racial experiences, whether you’ve faced direct racism or are actively working to dismantle your own biases. This may look different to you depending on what the presumed or known race of your therapist is-but when we are having reactions to the racial difference or sameness of our therapist, it is often a fruitful opportunity to explore our identity and how it interacts with others.
Money, Money, Money
If you’re hesitant to discuss money with anybody-including your therapist-you’re not alone. Money tends to be a loaded topic (pun intended) and people receive many messages from society, their families, and themselves, about what it means to discuss it. However, our finances determine so much about the reality of our lives-including our access to therapy! As with many of these other topics, it can be useful to ask yourself why you are hesitant to discuss money with your clinician. Are you afraid they will raise your fee? Judge your spending habits? Move into the role of financial planner? Often-whatever fears are coming up will be relevant in helping you better understand and navigate your personal relationship to finances.
Drug Use
Many clients are hesitant to bring up drug use for fear of judgment or condemnation, but therapists are invested in your personal goals and wellness-not moralizing your decisions.l. If drugs are working towards your wellness and goals or against them, your therapist wants to know! Exploring substance use can be helpful in identifying its role in your life – whether a coping mechanism for past trauma, a way to manage stress, or even a means of self-medication. Bringing up substance use does not necessarily indicate a problem, but if there is, a therapist can help brainstorm ways to lessen use and explore other coping strategies.
In the realm of challenging conversations, therapy stands as space to acknowledge the thoughts and emotions behind uncomfortable topics. It’s perfectly okay if you’re hesitant to discuss these subjects, but rest assured, your therapist is ready to navigate these conversations with you, fostering growth in the process.